truth

I lay awake with my chronic sleep disorder. I start to cogitate as i usually do..
So many thoughts going on in my head i had to vent a lil. I hate the feeling that im not doin anything with my life. But at the same time I have to admit that ive gotten lazy and unmotivated. Thats just an xcuse I know.. Ive grown accustomed to relying on people and it makes me feel incapable for some reason. I always say I wanna do this or I wanna do that but I never actually do it. Why is that? Why is it that I can give great advice but cant seem to help myself. I know that I can do anything that i put my mind to but I always venture of course..